I have been way more stressed than normal with everything that I have had going on so far this semester, and the first round of tests haven't even started. It all started off last year when I decided to run for a position in my sorority to get more involved. The position is called Activities Chair. Sounds easy right? Wrong. Little did I know that this consisted of me planning the entire First Friday for my sorority. Don't get me wrong, once everything came together, it was great to see all my hard work pay off, but all the hard work was very time consuming and stressful. I just got back from dismantling the float and picking up the many many pieces of pomp that we spent a week putting into place. Just a little side note, before you sign up for a position, make sure you know everything that it entails. Lesson learned.
So between that wonderful adventure, half-marathon training and oh yeah the main reason I am at Clemson, school, my life has been a jumbled up mess. Having all of these things on my plate has given me a lot less time to think and spend time with the Lord, which is the main cause of all my stress. I realized this in the middle of last week. I was trying to do everything on my own, without even thinking to turn to the Lord. Another addition to my stress is trying to prayer through whether or not I am being called back to Kenya over Christmas break or summer. Now trying to figure that one out on my own while definitely never lead to a clear conclusion.
I was reading in Jesus Calling the other morning, one of the greatest devotionals ever written by far, and it was all about the Lord's presence refreshing us and how we are supposed to communicate with Him continually. That last word there especially stuck out to me. Continually. I am called to communicate with the Lord continually. Was I doing that throughout all the stress I was facing? Nope. That definitely fits together the puzzle as to why I was so much more stressed than I usually get. This line below further confirms where I fell off track.
"As dew refreshes grass and flowers during the stillness of the night, so My Presence revitalizes you as you sit quietly with Me."I was not leaning on the Lord's presence to revive me and fill me mind. And without doing that, I will be consumed every single day by this world and all the devil tries to throw my way. The devotion then led me to read Luke 10:39-42, which was a slap in the face, to say the least.
"And she [Martha] had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."Mary has it all together here. The Message translation of this verse says, "Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word He said." She is not letting the chaos of the world distract her from what her Master, Jesus, has to say, because His words are far more valuable than any other. Of course I would love to say that Mary and I have so much in common, but I have to say, I fit better in with Martha in this story. Insert slap in the face. I was too busy with all the stress and tasks being thrown my way, that I did not stop to listen to my Master. Instead I complained and made excuses. The Lord goes on to tell Martha -
"...you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it - it's the main course, and won't be taken from her" Luke 10:42(MSG).It's funny how the Lord can speak directly to you through His word if you spend time with Him. I was getting stressed over nothing because I was not focused on the one essential thing in my life. I was letting the created take control over my life, rather than the Creator. I know this won't be the last time I fall into this trap, but at least I can find grace and hope in the One who can never be taken from me.
