That moment when your world is wrecked.

One thing that I am almost certain is a part of every mission’s trip is a moment that completely wrecks your world.  In the past few weeks, I have seen a lot of things that I have never seen before and heard a lot of stories that I can’t imagine ever going through.  Each and every experience deepened my burden and love for Kenya and the beautiful people that live here.  It wasn’t until two nights ago; though, that I really had that wreck your world moment. 

It was the night that the three-week group was flying out of Nairobi to head back to America.  We had dropped them off at the airport and were driving back to Naomi’s Village, which is where we have been staying for most of our time here.  There is one main highway in Kenya, and that highway is the one that we were traveling on to get back to Naomi’s Village.  Right before we get there, we pass through a little town called Maai-Mahiu.  That stretch of highway has overtime become known as “HIV Highway.”  Basically what happens is the street is lined with prostitutes at night, and truckers driving through will stop there and pick up a prostitute for the night, before continuing on their way.  At night, that road is lined with 18-wheeler after 18-wheeler, and the reason that they are stopped can be quickly determined.  So during my time here, I have heard many stories about that highway and how truckers will buy a hotel room for the night, but if they don’t have enough money, they will just spend the night under the truck with the prostitute.  Hearing stories like that broke my heart, but I hadn’t even experienced the worst of it yet. 

It was around 10:30pm when we were driving through Maai-Mahiu, and the edges of the highway were lined with trucks.  We looked out the window in awe, because seeing all of that made the stories more real.  But now, the wreck your world moment for me comes in.  Underneath one of the 18-wheelers pulled over on the left side of the road was a trucker and a prostitute with what looked like to be some sort of blanket.  In that moment, I felt more anger and sorrow than I have felt in a long time.  Actually seeing that situation puts all the stories into a greater perspective.  I immediately saw that and thought to myself, “that is someone’s daughter, sister and friend.”  It completely broke me.  At Passion, I learned that there are over 72 million people in the world today involved in sex trafficking.  Seeing one of the women that is included in that 72 million makes that number so much more than a statistic.  Imagining the hurt and hopelessness she feels made it nearly impossible for me to fall asleep that night.  Seeing something like that is by far the hardest thing that I have ever seen. 

It is easy for me to question why her, why does she have to suffer like that, why does she have to feel that depravity, why is the devil feeding her these lies that prostitution is her only hope?  My mind is immediately drawn to the story of the blind man in John 9.  This is a story that our group as a whole has talked about a lot throughout our time in Africa.  The story begins with the disciples asking Jesus who sinned that caused the man to be born blind.  Jesus answers in verse 3 by saying, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”  That woman is not being punished by God, but God, in His sovereignty, will get glory even out of situations like that.  It is heartbreaking and world wrecking to see circumstances like I saw two nights ago.  Even in circumstances that seem so hopeless, so much hope can be found by focusing on the Lord and knowing that He gets glory and His work is displayed in good times, as well as in bad times.  I don’t know what the future holds for that woman that I saw, but what I do know is that she is created and loved by the Creator of the Universe.  My prayer is that people will be placed in her life that will draw her to the Lord and show her that even though now she thinks she has no sense of hope in her life, that there is hope that is found only through the Lord.  And that hope is so fulfilling and satisfying.  

Comfort in the Cloudiness

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9

A few weeks leading up to the day that I left for Kenya, the Lord revealed to me that after spending a month in Kenya, I may still have no clue what I am doing with my future.  Now with nine days left, I have absolutely no clue what my future holds.  I came into college thinking that I had my whole life figured out.  By the end of my sophomore year, I realized that those were not the Lord’s plan, but my own.  Although it is a confusing place to be, it is also such an exciting place.  I know the Lord has given me various gifts and passions for a reason, and in His timing, the purpose for those will be revealed to me.  It’s verses like the one above that give me so much peace.  The verse before that starts off by saying “so My thoughts are not your thoughts.”  What a hard, but good reminder to have.  I know that the Lord’s ways and thoughts are much greater and more sovereign than mine.  Reading verses like Isaiah 55:9 make me wonder why I even try to plan my life out on my own.  The Creator of the Universe knows what my future holds.  What could be any better than that?  I have absolutely no clue what I am going to do with my life, but with this cloudiness and uncertainty comes SO much faith and reliance in the Lord alone.  Any plans I try to make don’t even compare to the plans that the Lord has in store for me.  Through my time in Africa, the Lord has revealed so much to me.  I still don’t know what exactly is going to come out of this trip in relation to my future plans, but I know whatever it is, the Lord is in control, and He knows exactly what He is doing with my life.  And through having faith in that, I am able to find rest.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Jambo from Africa!

So I obviously haven’t had much access to the Internet, which is why I have yet to blog this whole trip.  I don’t even know where to begin to describe all the work that the Lord has been doing in the two and a half weeks that I have been here.  Time is going by WAY too fast, and I am not okay with that.  I have gotten to experience and see more things than I ever imagined.  My heart breaks more and more every day for this country.  For the majority of the trip, we have been staying at Naomi’s Village, which is an orphanage in a city that I don’t know how to spell in Kenya.  We have spent so much time loving on the kids here, and it has been incredible to see the love of the Lord in each and every one of the kids. 

One thing the Lord has been teaching me the entire time I have been here is the beauty that is found in brokenness.  This trip has been an emotional rollercoaster from day one, but it has caused me to be more and more dependent on the Lord.  The passage that has been key for me throughout this whole trip has been:

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies." -- 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

It is encouraging to know that the brokenness I have faced and the walls that the Lord has been breaking down are all for the sake of the Gospel.  My weakness provides a perfect way for the power and strength of the Lord to prevail. As 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made PERFECT in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I could go on and on about how much love and passion I have in my heart for this country.  I know that when I leave here in 10 days, it won’t be my last time here.  We have been able to touch so many hearts in the days we have been here, as well as be humbled by all the beautiful people we have had the opportunities to meet.  I still have 10 days left, so I know the Lord still has so much work to do.  I can’t wait for each day to unfold and continue the journey of what is becoming the greatest month of my life.